How to win an argument

How to win an argument?

Occasionally, like it or not, we argue with others. As winning is always a must for us high achievers, we have to do what it takes to win an argument.

There are a few techniques to win an argument or debate that will make you an admirable high achiever, and make those underachievers look up upon you. The beauty of these techniques is you don’t even have to know what your opponent’s arguments are. So, it is sort of a set of universal techniques that fits all debate and let you win all of them effortlessly.

1.     1. Attack the messenger.  Focus your assaults on the person instead of his/her arguments. The meaner you attack the messenger, the higher your chance of winning the debate. If practiced well enough, winning comes naturally by sending your opponents speechless and too busy defending themselves and forget about the real debate.

Example: You can’t even speak proper English, you points can’t be correct. Go back to school loser.

John is a low IQ dumb, if you believe what he said, you are a greater dumb .

2.       2. Reduce and distort the opposite opinions. This is technically called the “strawman” technique. It basically means build a reduced and distorted version of your opponent’s argument and then beat it up easily with a single blow like beating a strawman.

Example: Capitalism is nothing more than the rich exploiting the poor. So we must fight it with all our might.

Building a highway will create more accidents that kill. So we must object to this new proposal.

3.       3. Accuse hidden motive. This is also a very effective method to divert the attention from the direct arguments and instead focus the audience attention to your opponent’s immoral hidden agendas. Note that you don’t have to give a damn about what your opponent’s argument is.

Example: You support non violent just because you are a Buddhist who is on an evil mission to convert all the good Christians and Muslims in our audience.

You are saying global warming is a threat because you are a Greenie who wants to destroy the good economy of our country.

4.       4. Attack the weaker relatives. This is also termed as “kick his shin” technique. An experienced debater will be able to look for an irrelevant but related point and start attacking it to make the audience believe the actual arguments are being debated and beaten up badly.

Example:  Socialism is spoken many times by the evil communists, which means socialism is equally evil and if not banned from our good society, it will destroy all beloved country.

If we haven’t seen a monkey changing into human, the theory of evolution must be flawed.

5.       5. False options. Make your opponent choose between 2 options that are made up by you. This forces them to focus on your two options, whereas there are many more options to choose from. They are doomed whatever they choose because the options are cleverly designed to entrap them. This requires some levels of smartness but will come naturally if practiced a few times.

Example: Pakatan Rakyat is a corrupt party, so we have to vote for UMNO.

Do you want to be a religionless communist or a God fearing good Republican?

6.       6. False assumptions. This is a very tricky but effective way of confusing the opponents and beat them up after that. It involves giving a pseudo assumption that seems rock solid and hence make your argument undebatable.

Example: Most of the residents speak English which means they are educated and hence the theft must have been committed by the villagers outside of our community.

Look at the cows, they are vegetarians and yet they can grow so healthy. So being vegetarian is also good for our growth.

7.       7. Self referencing argument. This is used by many winners in human history with great successes. It is a powerful tool if used together with technique (3) above. The examples below are self evident.

Example: Communism is the greatest way of life on earth because Chairman Mao had said it numerous times in his Red book.

If your opponent detects the self referencing in your “circular logic” argument, quickly switch to technique (3) to question his hidden motives.

I know you are a bloody racist. Chairman Mao is the beloved leader of 1.3 billion Chinese. Just because you have white supremacy in your blood, you hate all Chinese.

If all of the above fail, you may have no choice but to resort to the dumbest, least effective and most time consuming method. Do research to back your opinions and counter your opponents with data and figures. Most of the time, you will lose an argument this way especially if your opponent employs the above methods instead.

Happy debating.

LOST

Under the shadows of the big trees, Mary was frantically scanning the forest looking for a hint of a foot path or any familiar signs. Although every tree was different, the tropical rain forest around her seemed the same – huge, tall trees with sparse undergrowth. 

The sun was setting and Mary knew it would be dark very soon. She checked her watch. 6:25pm. At most, another 30 minutes before it would be too dark to navigate in the forest. She had a compass but it didn’t help a bit for someone with little experience. A compass was useful only if she knew her location and a map to guide her.  

“Don’t panic, Mary. You can do this.” She told herself. 

Mary came to Borneo with 2 other fellow researchers to do field studies on beetles that fed on decayed vegetations. This was a major part of her post graduate thesis. She loved bugs even when she was a little girl. Her friends would scream and jump, while she would pick up a spider and looked at it with full interest. Very few would appreciate how amazing these small creatures with segmented body were. They thrived in harsh environments where other creatures failed. They outnumbered other creatures by thousands times.

She loved the tropical forest and enjoyed the 2 weeks field trip very much. This was the last trip where they had to hike to a remote part of the forest to collect samples and had to stay a few nights in the forest. They had 2 very experienced local guides who knew the forest like their back yard.

Mary came out with another researcher Jane to collect beetles after they had set camp near a waterfall. Marang, their lead guide wouldn’t allow them to go into the forest alone.

“It’s too easy to get lost. Everywhere looks the same. If you make a step in the wrong direction, you may not find your way again.”

Mary now knew he was right. She had asked Jane to go back while she took a short detour to get some leave samples by the stream.

“The foot path is pretty clear and I won’t be lost” she had said jokingly to Jane.

She went to the stream, collected the leave samples and back tracked. While walking, she had a strange feeling she wasn’t on the right track. Maybe she had missed a turn. 

So she turned and walked back. There was indeed a faint path between 2 tall trees.  One of them had a big branch broken from the main trunk. She followed that path but it ended before a steep slope. Mary knew she didn’t come that way and back tracked. 

She walked for a while but didn’t find the junction and the 2 tall trees where she came from.

She scanned and she saw the two tall trees were not far away on her right. The sparse undergrowth didn’t look too hard to get through. 

“The footpath is just behind the trees. I can get back to camp once I see the path.”

She walked toward the tall trees and found that although the undergrowth was sparse, vines and fallen branches were making it hard to get through. Her backpack got hooked on a branch and she fell on her knees. 

“Can’t get through from here. I will walk around this small slope.”

She walked around some big trees and was tripped a few times. When she got back on her feet, her target trees were gone from sight.

To her horror, she couldn’t remember where she started.

“Dang! Should have left some marks” she blamed herself.

With no choice, she moved towards the direction which she thought was right. After a few turns, she knew she was in trouble as she had no clue where she was and the sun was setting fast.

Mary checked her watch again. 6:50pm. The forest was almost dark save for the little sunlight that filtered through the thick canopy.

“Help! Help!” Mary was overwhelmed by panic and called out for help.

Exhausted and in fear, she rested under a huge tree with trunk thicker than a pickup truck. Under the shade, it’s unusually clear of undergrowth. 

Mary knew it was better for her to stay put and wait for help. It’s too dangerous to wander in the dark forest, although she knew there weren’t any big animals in the Borneo forest that would harm her. 

A cold evening breeze chilled her sweat soaked body. She had goose bumps all over and felt her hair was standing on her head.

Her whole body shivered as if she had entered a meat freezer.

Before she blacked out, she thought the cold breeze had a faint scent of incense. 

Marang took a deep drag on his cigarette. It’s still early in the morning and the foggy forest around him was quiet. He had a worried look on his face and felt uncomfortable of what had happened. He lived his whole life in this part of the Borneo tropical rain forest and knew and saw many things that beyond the comprehension of city folks. The forest was a different world compared to the villages and the cities.

He could tell which part of the forest he’s in by the sound of the insects and birds. The seemingly uniform forest was unique and had distinguishable features in his eyes. Different parts of the forest had distinctive smells of leaves, rotting vegetation. Even the breeze was a sign for him to find his way in the forest. His senses worked optimally here.

Ironically, when he occasionally went to the cities, he couldn’t find his way in a shopping mall. He couldn’t remember what floor he was on and the shops looked the same to him, although they had names on them.

They found Mary wandering in the forest after she didn’t return to the camp that night. She was walking in the dark without a light. When he found her, she had a big smile on her face and her eyes were sparkling in the flash light.

Back in camp, Mary didn’t say a word to anyone but was grinning all the time. Marang was uncomfortable with this. He started a camp fire and stayed up all night. 

In another hour, the sun would rise and wake up the forest. The insects and birds would start their day loud and happy, followed by the gibbons and leaf monkeys. This morning symphony was loud but peacefully rhythmic, just like the breaking of surf on the beach.

Nik, the other guide, walked to Marang and handed him a coffee in a tin mug.

“Jaga-jaga si Mary tu. Ada yang tak kena” (watch out on Mary. Something not right) He said to Nik.

Nik nodded and then shook his head and sighed.

At that moment, they saw Mary crawled out from the tent and walked towards the trees, smile on her face.

Both men ran after her and grabbed her arms. Mary turned to face them. Her eyes were big and her gaze was wild.

She smiled and bared her teeth.

“Taring aku cantik kah?” (are my fangs pretty?) she asked in a high pitch voice, in the local language.

Marang knew his worst worry came true. Without a word, he and Nik dragged her back towards the camp. Mary was struggling frantically and almost over powered the two strong men.

“Lepaskan aku. Lepaskan aku” (let me go!) She screamed and kicked.

Can’t get her arms free from the men, Mary bared her teeth and tried to bite them but was quickly pushed away. They finally had to tie her up to prevent her from injuring herself.

The other researchers were woke up by the commotion and looked at them bewilderedly.

“Stop this at once and let her go.” Matthew protested. He was the leader among the researchers.

“Something is inside her and we can’t let her run wild in the forest.”

“Nonsense! She needs medical treatment. That’s what she needs right now”

“Mr. Matthew, how do you explain she speaking the Malay language? She is a Dutch, mind you”

Matthew kept quiet. He knew Marang was probably right. Being an intellect trained in science, he wanted to find a scientific explanation to this.

“Maybe she had heard the language here and learnt it in her sub conscious mind. You know, people can do amazing things with their sub conscious mind.”

Matthew tried to explain. Jane put a hand on his shoulder and signaled to him to keep quiet.

“Aku mau pulang! Laki ku menunggu!” (I want to go home. My man is waiting) Mary kept screaming and yelling.

Marang didn’t know what to do. He knew he can’t take Mary out from the forest. What started here must end here. Taking a possessed person out of the forest might keep the spirit in her forever. At the same time, he couldn’t stay in the forest for too long lest endangering the other researchers under his charge. He heard tales of forest spirits attracting each others. He also worried about the safety of Mary. Being possessed for too long would drain her and do permanent damages to her. She might lose her mind and the worst, she might drop dead.

It seemed they were not alone here. There’s at least another unseen being lurking in the forest, if what Mary said was anything to go with. There might be more of them.

Having lived in the forest all his life, he was certainly not naïve to the realm of spirits and other unseen beings. They were called “Penunggu” in his language, which meant Guardian. They usually left people alone unless that poor person had done something wrong or offensive to them.

There was also another type of being which were feared by the local tribe. The locals called them “Puaka” (demon) and they were believed to be ferocious. Marang knew of many tales where villages were possessed by Puaka and most of these tales didn’t have pleasant endings. 

He heard tale of a possessed woman from the Iban tribe who chewed on her own fingers. By the time they stopped her, all her 10 fingers were gone.

Marang could send Nik to get help from the village but the return trip would take 2 days. That would be too long and too painful for poor Mary to bear.

The sun had warmed up the forest and fog was gone. The forest was again transformed into a busy and alive place, with all the sounds of the insects, bird and animals.

Marang was alarmed by voices in the forest. They turned out to be  the honey collectors from the Iban village. He called out to them and they came to the camp.

An elderly man looked at Mary and talked to Marang in his language. He nodded after Marang explained to him what had happened.

“I am going to take her to the forest where we found her and the Ibans will help to make the spirit leave her” He explained to the group and asked Nik to take charge while he was away.

In the forest under the huge tree without undergrowth, the old man encircled Mary with a ring of stones. He put the offering of ice wine and honey under the huge tree trunk. The other Iban men pour rice wine around the tree while reciting words of prayer to the ancestors.

“Nenek datang nggak di jemput. Nenek pulang nggak dihantar. Sila pergi Nenek. Cucu mohon.” He repeated the recital many times.

(Elder, you came uninvited. You go without sendoff. Please leave. We plead.)

Mary stood there still with a grin on her face. The forest around them was quiet and still. Not a single sound of insects or birds.

“Aku mau layang” (I want to float in air) she hissed out the words.

The old man poured rice wine on her face and without warning smacked her head hard with his palm. Mary fell on the ground and passed out.

They felt a cold breeze swept through and before long the warm sunlight and sounds of insects were back.

Without delay, Marang took Mary back to camp site and asked the group to pack up and leave immediately.

Back in the city, when Matthew asked her what had happened to her, Mary said she can’t remember.

“I was like in a dream. In the dream, I was tethered to a huge tree and kept walking around it. It was really, really cold and I don’t remember anything else besides that tree.”

“What happened after that?”

“I felt someone hit me on the head. Before I wake up, I heard a voice. She said ‘I shall come for you’. It’s in a foreign language but I understood it. I woke up and found myself in the camp and you guys around me. Funny dream, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Just a dream. It’s just a dream Mary.”